Self-Editing for Fiction Writers, Second Edition: How to Edit Yourself Into Print
By Renni Browne and Dave King
Harper Paperbacks
288 pages
List Price: $13.99; Amazon Price: $9.00

On numerous occasions at the Internet Writing Workshop’s writing list there have been threads about the best books for editing. One writer always writes about his three go to reference books: The Chicago Manual of Style, The Synonym Finder, and Self-Editing for Fiction Writers.

It should not come as a surprise when I admit that I own all three. I acquired The Synonym Finder and its been incredible. Concerning Self-Editing, it’s a marvelous book and it will help shape your fiction.

Self-Editing is divided into 12 chapters ranging from “Show and Tell” to “Voice” Each chapter has exercises and the writers have included an appendix with answers to these exercises as well as a reading list of other books on writing craft.

I’ve used this book, but not as often as I should. Now that I am reworking my novel, I have the perfect opportunity revisit these chapters. Although I’m pretty good with dialogue, I still need some points to make it crisper, to convey emotion through the characters words, and not describe how they are feeling. In other words, if you’ve properly set the scene that a character is astonished and says “You can’t be serious,” you can easily drop the “she said in astonishment.” For Browne and King adding this tag is lazy writing and point out:

When your dialogue is well written, describing your characters’ emotions to your readers is just as patronizing as a playwright running onto the stage and yelling at the audience. And when you explain dialogue that needs no explanation, you are writing down to your readers, a sure-fire way to turning them off. The theatergoer might or might not walk out of a theater when the playwright runs on stage; the reader who feels patronized will almost certainly close the book.

Chapter 11 focuses on how to make your writing more sophisticated by using some stylistic tricks. Browne and King give the “as and ing” construction example:

Pulling off her gloves, she turned to face him.

or

As she pulled off her gloves, she turned to face him.

Although both phrases are grammatically correct and express the action clearly and ambiguously.  They write:

Both of these constructions take a bit of action and tuck it away into a dependent clause. This tends to place some of your action at one remove from your reader, to make the actions seem incidental, unimportant. And so if you use these constructions often, you weaken your writing.

Oh dear…

It’s advice like this that makes Self-Editing one of the better books on the market and a valuable one to revisit often (note to self: practice what you preach).

Bleeding Eyes Courtesy of Flickr

The meaning of this post’s title is twofold. In preparing all the HAND/EYE articles for this coming Thursday, I realized  I would have to invest some time in editing one article on Kota Doria. This fabric is used for sarees and other garment pieces. What’s unique about the khat weave (a checkered pattern) is that it renders the fabric almost translucent.  The problem with the article was that a good chunk of the copy had to be reorganized, rewritten and then edited.

I discovered that the author seemed to have little experience in research and then applying what she learned to write a concise and informative piece. I had to take her almost 3,000 word article and cut, reorder, do my own research on the topic and rewrite the damn thing. For the editing process I’ve gotten pretty quick in turning articles around because I know what our readers want to see and can make a quick addition or two. Bur when you have to write the entire piece on an unfamiliar topic and discover that much of the research is taken from outdated multiple sources that’s when the headache starts and little tears of blood appear in the corner of your eyes.

After spending eight hours of working on it, crying that I wouldn’t find the needed information to make it seem fresher, and dreading the moment my fearless editor would find something terribly wrong with it, I was relieved to see that one sentence needed to be reworded and Keith did that for me (sometimes he makes me use my brain a little more).

Now that I’m able to enjoy the rest of my weekend, I plan to edit more of Julius, write my 1,000 words, and read Atlas Shrugged. That’s where the second part of the title comes into play. After my hemorrhaging  tear ducts finally clotted, why would I put myself through the misery of reading Ayn Rand? For Julius, and to help me strengthen my eventual query to agents.  Not seeing the connection? Plainly put, Julius is the anti-Atlas Shrugged and I’m using  it as a point of reference because one character is an avid fan of the lady’s view point.

And now to write that chapter about the FBI and Homeland Security…

What’s so special about this date? First,  in the United States it’s a national holiday–otherwise known as Labor Day. Second, it is the day I plan to type “The End” for Julius. Not “The End” for this revision, but the very final “The End” for once and for all. And on September 6th, I start querying agents.

What’s the big deal about Labor Day? Here’s the scoop from Wikipedia:

The first Labor Day in the United States was observed on August 26, 1878, in Boston, by the Central Labor Union of New York, the nation’s first integrated major trade union. It became a federal holiday in 1894, when, following the deaths of a number of workers at the hands of the U.S. military and U.S. Marshals during the Pullman Strike, President Grover Cleveland put reconciliation with the labor movement as a top political priority. Fearing further conflict, legislation making Labor Day a national holiday was rushed through Congress unanimously and signed into law a mere six days after the end of the strike. The September date originally chosen by the CLU of NY and observed by many of the nation’s trade unions for the past several years was selected rather than the more widespread International Workers’ Day because Cleveland was concerned that observance of the latter would stir up negative emotions linked to the Haymarket Affair, for which it had been observed to commemorate.

Choosing Labor Day to write “finis” makes sense because it resonates with part of what Julius is all about–celebrating the working man, but more specifically the working class. And because it’s time to push myself to finish and move on to the next story.

Yes, I’ve given myself deadlines before and they’ve been ignored, but this one is different on two levels. The first one is that I’ve given myself a specific date. That forces me to think about the story more than I already do, but also to write a 1,000 per day in addition to editing. The second part is to make that Paris dream come true.

Since I gave myself this deadline, I have completed editing seven chapters. I had a friend take a look at the first four chapter and the changes and suggestions she made were spot on. This weekend will include finishing the edits of part one, and working backwards–rewriting the third part of the story. The middle part of the story is where the bulk of my efforts will be focused on during the summer, and that will consist of several hours of researching/reading Ayn Rand and Russell Kirk <bleech and shudder>. Reading conservative thought doesn’t appeal much to me, but it’s a necessary evil for the story. Well, at least I’ll have a good time mocking the Ultra-Right when I write those chapters. Easy targets, right? Oops, didn’t mean it that way.

And now, time to get some work done for HAND/EYE so I can change gears and get back to Julius. After all, I only have 143 days left to achieve that and the seconds are ticking away. . .

Two days ago I posted a photo of my workspace on my Facebook page, and one of my writer friends commented she downloaded the photo to see my reference books.

The lightbulb over my head started to glow, and gave me the idea to write about some of my favorite reference books.

Almost a year ago, I wrote Julius: A Bibliography that listed many of the books I used for research. But what about the tools of the trade like dictionaries, thesauri, and other sources?

First let me say the dictionary I own, Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, Tenth Edition, is terrible. And what’s a crying shame is that I got rid of my two good dictionaries because they were so big, heavy, and the print was too small. However, thanks to the Kindle, I am very pleased to write that it comes with two dictionaries. One of them is the Oxford Dictionary of English. It’s easy to use, the print I can adjust thank’s to a feature the Kindle has to enlarge print, and it doesn’t take up any space or weigh fifty pounds.

Other dictionaries I’ve acquired include:

• The Word Lover’s Dictionary: Unusual, obscure and preposterous words. For example, need another word to say, “He snapped his fingers.” Try “lirp.” A “teen” could also be a “hafling”, but you knew that, right? And if you’re not too pleased about still being a virgin you can “depucelate” or dislodge one’s virginity.
• Dictionary of Word Origins: The histories of more than 8,000 English Language Words (compliments of Skyhorse Publishing Inc.)
• Flip Dictionary: For when you what you want to say but can’t think of the word. I am in love with this dictionary, and although I haven’t used it often (I recently bought it), I know in the very near future it will be getting quite a bit of use. One of the features of the Flip Dictionary that I love is that it has grouping of certain terms. For example, I’m not very musical, but if I needed to describe vocal music and could only come up with opera or a ballad, but it’s not quite what I’m looking for I can select the following: anthem, aria, canon, cantata, chanson, chant, chorale, hymn, madrigal, round, or serenade (I actually knew most of these, but I rarely use them). But there are also Jewish terms, Japanese terms, digestive or gastroenterological diseases, castle terms, psychiatric disorders, and much more.

Style guides include:

• Associated Press
• The Chicago Manual of Style, 14th Edition (probably time to get a newer version).

Among the thesauri in my collection, I have:

• Roget A to Z: The definitive thesaurus of synonyms in dictionary form
• The Synonym Finder by J. I. Rodale, which I’ve used very often and found it to be much better than Mr. Roget’s (plus we’re dealing with one million words as opposed to Roget’s wimpy 300,000).

As far as books on craft. I own most of the Writers Digest books, but for me the two books that I think are top notch and highly recommend are:

• The Writer’s Portable Mentor: A Guide to Art, Craft, and the Writing Life, by Priscilla Long. What’s so special about this book? Priscilla has managed to write in one single volume the best advice from her own writing experience, examples from top writers (she likes more literary types) and the best exercises to learn craft. In 326 pages, her advice is more detailed than the all the Writers Digest books.
• Manuscript Makeover: Revision Techniques no Fiction Writer can Afford to Ignore, by Elizabeth Lyon. Like Long’s book, Lyon offers the best techniques to edit. I used to heavily rely on Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renne Brown and Dave King, but Lyon’s book is far superior.

At a later date, on Alvah’s Books, I will have full reviews of these two books, but I urge anyone who wants to improve their craft and their self-editing skills to purchase these two books.

I have many more books and foreign language dictionaries (French, Italian, German, Spanish, Russian, and Arabic) but the books listed above are the ones I use the most often. As for the Internet and my bookmarks, well that’s for another post.

For the past few days I’ve been in editing mode. I’ve taken my sharp eye and sharp pencil and read through the first seven chapters of Julius, and cut, cut, cut.

A lot of what I’ve taken out is back story. I know. It’s surprising that I, lover of back story, decided that it should go out with the rest of the garbage. But I’ve seen the error of my ways, and I discovered in this past reading marathon that backstory, indeed, slows the narrative down. So one issue has been put to rest.

Unfortunately, however, Julius has many other issues and I have to tackle them all one by one. The first part of the book sets everything up for the second and third parts, so that means I really can’t move forward until Part One is perfect. It’s  frustrating, but it has to be done. In the meantime I can start outlining the second and third parts when I need a break from the editing.

Back to the salt mines…

Well, actually, watch me work it.

This weekend will be another write-a-thon. On the agenda: articles for HAND/EYE plus revisions and new material for Julius.  As you may have noticed, in spite of good intentions of getting organized and keeping to a schedule, it appears I’m all over the place.

[Insert loud sigh]

This week at HAND/EYE I spent most of my time getting magazine subscriptions out (this is part of the drawback of a two person office. I gather the magazines and stick them in the envelopes, print the mailing labels, update the database, and Keith drives to the post office and pays for the shipping).  The big issue of the week was getting two boxes out to a store that sells HAND/EYE in Canada. We’re trying to keep our costs down and this time Keith and I thought it would be best to go via UPS.  Well, it may be cheaper, but in terms of navigating UPS.com I was close to an apoplectic attack. Now I know why my former assistants hated me when I would tell them to send something via UPS. And to Canada? Well, there’s customs to deal with and all the confusing forms. So something that should have been relatively simple took days. I mean it. Days. However, it’s done. The two boxes are on their way to Vancouver and I hope we get many, many, many reorders because now I know how to ship to Canada via UPS.com.

Now I have to zip and write and edit. I can give you little preview of what’s upcoming. This week we’re focusing on a a series of documentaries on Mayan Weaving, a South African artist, a glass artist, and a ceramicist from Oz. All good stuff.

As for Julius, I am in revision mode. There are parts of the story that seem too chatty. I need to add more descriptive narrative, and more action. Not hardcore chase scenes, since none of the characters don’t run–not even to catch a bus–but everyday actions that further develops their personalities. The one activity they seem to enjoy is eating, so maybe I can get them to cook more often, shop for food, etc.

I’m also trying to play around with the language. This is a challenge. I’m pretty straight forward in the way I write, but because I am attempting to duplicate some of Alvah Bessie’s experiences with Corinne, I think it would be interesting to emulate his voice since he is an important character in the story.

Well, we’ll see how this weekend turns out as I work it.

This past Friday evening I attended an event at our local library on how to sell your book. The panel of experts consisted of two agents and two editors. For the most part much of what they said I knew, but I figured I would attend because they are folks in the industry that live here (actually they have second homes. They all live in Manhattan) and I figured it would be smart to schmooze a bit.

The one thing that stood out was the discussion of Ghost Editors. It seems the two editors on the panel would rather see most of the work polished by the author rather than receive a manuscript that has been doctored. These editors believe that with the agent making her tweaks, then having an editor make more tweaks, the author’s voice is lost.

One of my writing mentors strongly believes in using a ghost editor, and highly recommends hiring one when the manuscript has gone through it’s numerous revisions. How do I personally feel about this? My thoughts are mixed. I’d like to get a professional’s opinion of what I can do to improve the story, but I question what are my chances of snagging an agent even if I were to spend the money for this work and make the changes?  No matter how well it’s written and if all the suggestions are used to make that one final revision it’s still a crapshoot.

Let’s assume that Julius ends up in the hands of an agent and said representative tells me, “Love the story, but it needs some tweaking. Hire this editor, whom I highly recommend, to help you make the following xx changes.” What would happen if I said no? What guarantee do I have that a ghost editor will improve my copy? Maybe he or she will lose the entire scope of the story, making it less likely to be acquired by a publisher.

A friend of mine recently found an agent who suggested she cut 20,000 words, saying that first time novelists should keep their work under 100,000 words (the panel of editors and agents thought this was ridiculous and arbitrary. Somehow I felt vindicated when they said this because I found it silly too) and to hire an editor.  Well, it’s been more than six months and still no sale. Did my friend lose her voice with the new set of edits?  Were those 20,000 words extraneous or did they actually help the story?  Maybe if the book had been sold and the actual editor working on the book said, “We need to cut here and here, and tighten this up here” then that would be a completely different matter.

So what am I leading up to here? I guess the best thing to do is work on my editing skills. I think what makes Julius unique is my story-telling voice. I don’t want an agent or a ghost editor trying to double guess what the actual acquiring editor will want. Go with what I send and let’s take it from there, but don’t distill the story and don’t fuck around with the voice.

And on that note, time for some writing!

If I could only remember that. The reason this post has this silly title is that I have the terrible habit of not printing my work. I’ve done this for years. Instead of wasting paper on my pulp fiction, press releases, or whatever I write, I edit online. Usually I’m pretty good, but on occasion there might be something that escapes my sharp eyes (well, not so sharp–I’ve recently started wearing reading glasses).

About a month and a half ago, a friend asked me to rework some copy that he had written for an organization that he belongs to. He needed a quick turnaround,and I started as soon as I received the copy. It was a fairly simple editing job.  I  cleaned and tightened some of the sentences and added some new material. An hour later it was good to go, and I emailed it back to him. He liked it and submitted to have it appear in the newsletter.

A few days ago, I received a copy of the newsletter. Our piece looked beautiful. And then I read it. Hmm, the lede seemed a little mangled. Hmm, there’s a word missing. Hmm, I needed to insert a comma in one sentence. Damn! If I had printed the piece  and proofread it, I would have immediately caught these bloopers.

Although my friend didn’t catch these minor errors, and the newsletter was emailed to a small audience–who will probably will skim the piece–it’s still embarrassing. If this had been a paying job, I would have lost a client. So shame on me.

Even though this is an elementary lesson for all writers, it’s so easy to fall into this trap. Everything is done via a word processing program that give us the tools to move paragraphs around, cut and paste, and, unfortunately, we sometimes rely too much on spell and grammar check. So, really, it’s a no brainer to print out your work and proofread it one more time on paper.

My advice to anyone who is stingy with the  printer is forget the cost of paper or ink cartridges.Print out your work!  Keep extra cartridges and a ream of paper on hand (I never do).  And while you’re at it, after you’ve printed your work, step away from it for a couple of hours and read it again. You’ll be amazed what your supposedly sharp eyes missed–even with reading glasses.