Rewriting the First Paragraph

by RS on February 15, 2010

If you may recall about two months ago I lamented about a particularly nasty and tactless critique I received via the Novels writing list from one of the members of the Internet Writing Workshop. I was told that I should read The First Five Pages by Noah Lukeman.

I haven’t read it, but another member did and after reading her comments it got me thinking that maybe the “Nasty One” had a point. I don’t think that the first five pages of the chapter need to be rewritten, but maybe the first two paragraphs.

Since it was my turn to submit this week to the new writing workshop, I decided to take a very relevant part of the story in Julius and move it right up front and center. So far I’m pleased with the change.

I’m putting more weight on this group rather than the IWW partly because we agreed that we would provide critical and detailed reviews. At IWW sometimes we get blanket “I really like this story” comments without any other remarks. Four crits have come so far and the overall consensus seem that I need to further develop the relationship between the main character and her significant other. Seems like a fair request.

So it seems that the entire chapter needs to be reworked a bit more. There a few minor nits in the prologue, but those four pages have been tweaked to death and, if I do say so myself, they’re pretty good.

I have two more crits waiting and afterwards I will go through another round of revisions.

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