Dear Publicists,

Having sat on the same side of the desk as you at a recent point in my professional career I know you all are very busy, but I have a bone to pick.

Look, I know what it’s like to pitch dead-end stories to mean-spirited editors. I understand what it’s like to be on the receiving end of a snotty reprimand from your supervisor, the client, and the editor. I know that many of you want to hide under your desks and wish away the day, go home, and forget that you’ve sold your soul to Satan to make a decent living. I have empathy for you. Really, I do. But I also know when you have a GUARANTEED placement, you don’t ignore the editor’s request or questions.

Now that I’ve jumped to the other side of the desk and write for a living there are times that I have to deal with publicists. For the most part, it has been disappointing. I’ve had to email repeatedly for press materials, request interviews and images.  And yet, no response. Not even, “I got your email and I’m putting everything you asked together.” Nothing. Bupkis. Nada. Zip.

Listen up, this is a bird in the hand. You got the placement. We’re running the story, but we need more information. That’s all. So do your job, and get back to me in a prompt manner. Believe me, everyone will be happy and that means your client, your boss, you, my editor, and, finally, me.

Thanks for reading.