In Julius there are a few running themes one of them is Corinne’s self-doubt. The refrain she hears from everyone (including the LCD readout on her elliptical) is “Believe in Yourself.”
Like my main character, I’ve been battling self-doubt especially when it comes to Julius. So after reading books on craft, novels, and watching films (for structure), and rethinking the entire premise of the story, it’s time to get writing again. I’ve come to the conclusion that I have to go with my gut, and tell my story the way I envisioned it. In other words, I have to believe in myself and in Julius.
There’s no question that I’ll have this same battle with myself until I finish it (actually Julius is finished, I’m revising it for the umpteenth time). And I know that once I query agents and get my thousands of “not for us” rejections I’ll beat myself up for not following everyone’s advice, but you know what? In this instance, I can’t do a George Costanza and do the opposite of what I normally do (in this case make Julius an action-packed, conflict-driven, too many questions answered upfront type of story).
So it’s time to take a big breath, exhale, and get back to that chapter that started all this self-doubt. My new mantra is, “I believe in myself and in Julius.”